Am I there yet?

As you all know I am the youngest of eight and being the youngest I have always felt that I was expected to act a little more mature than my age...or maybe that is just how I was being raised with siblings that are a bit older than myself. Yeah right! I bet you all are thinking!
I think maybe I tried to grow up to fast. I think I might still be growing up to fast. sometimes it feels like I should still be twelve and going through that awkward pubescent phase. Ok maybe I don't really miss it!
Sometimes I find myself saying..."after this next phase of my life I will be happier" I should be extremely Happy right now! Why do I always think that the next phase will bring happiness? It must be my attitude! My whole life I have been trying to catch up to my brothers and sisters. I wanted to go to college when i was 13 so that I could experience the joys of living on my own. I wanted to serve a mission as soon as I graduated high school and was very upset that I had to wait. (patience is a virtue I lack) When I went away to good ol' BYUI I was brainwashed with everyone getting all get married, and whatever else they teach up here!

I figured out today that I am probably never going to catch up to my brothers and sisters...they are all at different parts of their lives. I love them all so much and thats why I have striven to be like them. but it's time for me to live my own life. I am 19 yrs old, doing what I love best, and I am going to succeed! I am happy where I am.

For once I'm gonna act my age! Whatever that means. :)